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swan song

by linus nordmark

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1.
i don’t want to go out it’s better if i stay inside with no one around it only takes a few sentences then i have forgotten what you were talking about it’s all rubbish anyway i have nothing to say to you i can’t stand the crowds we don’t share lives and i don’t have the time
2.
i should die 03:16
is it me talking? or is it somebody else? i don’t know i want to tell you some things but i just can’t get it through and you don’t know i could get drunk i should shut up i should die i cry and cry every night i should die now
3.
lost 02:29
is this really how it came to be? i never thought i would be 23 it has to be something wrong i was lost my head was beat against cold steel that’s how i learnt my place just do not exist i was lost i wake up in the night this is my bed, but not my home take me anywhere i am lost is this really how it came to be? i thought someday they’ll see it has to be something wrong i am lost
4.
i wander aimless along the sidewalks everything’s the same and as dead as me how i try to smile i try to be glad but it echoes in my head i don’t want to be here i wander aimless along the sidewalks just as yesterday and every other day with panic in my chest and swallowing the tears it echoes in my head i don’t want to be here i am so tired there’s nothing to see shoot me in the head i don’t want to be here
5.
i stood on stage and they looked at me and they smiled while i sang that i want to die does someone think of me as i of you? and will we die alone? it will never get better we’ll die alone but if you’re awake like me then say it will be fine i know it’s a lie but it’s all that i’ve got
6.
7.
star 01:43
when i see you i see a star that shines in the dark and the things you say are so naïve you’ll never know what good it does to me when i’m with you i don’t feel pain when i’m with you it just goes away and to see you grow makes it worthwhile the only thing that keeps me alive will you remember me when i’m not around? will you understand my wish to die?
8.
far away 02:43
“you’re not suitable for work” they said “you need to go and check your head” i just leaned back and agreed i don’t care what happens to me now my dearest they don’t talk i thought that some things were constant and funny i wish that they will be fine but for me i wish the worst to come i want to go to some place where no one knows my name just drift away, far away, far away
9.
solitude 03:59
i sing my song, but not for those who live with ease unto death i sing as one who never had a home on earth, a place to sleep in distress no more i confess all crap that i have done or beg for my friends’ best intentions all alone i stand by the gate where you wait for verdict and purification
10.
goodnight my friend lay yourself down i know that you can’t take this no more goodnight my friend try to sleep though you are dripping of tears i am here when you’re alone and when you wish you did not exist but remember do not feel shame because you’ve done as good as you can goodnight my friend
11.
swan song 05:20

credits

released August 13, 2016

written, recorded and performed by linus nordmark

track 4: written with anna lång & maria stenström
track 9: lyrics based on dan andersson’s “en visa i ensamhet”
track 11: written with maria ackerfors

the drums on track 4 were performed by kim svensson and recorded by peter arvidsson

cover photo by niclas fasth

cover illustration by william sulka

2013-2016

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linus nordmark Norrköping, Sweden

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